{Losing Sleep}

I am losing sleep.

Not because I am the mom of 11 week old twins.

Not because I have a two year old.

Not because we are moving in 7 days.

Not because I have a million and one things to do.

But, because I am full of JOY and ANTICIPATION for our future.

I have learned SO much over the past four weeks, it is surreal.

There have been many moments of shear chaos.

Moments of anger.

Frustration.

Confusion.

Anxiety

Fear.

Moments when I questioned God's plan.

Moments when I leaned on my own understanding and not God.

Moments when I wanted to give up.

Moments when I lost hope.

But through every one of these moments hope has carried me through.

The hope I have in a God that will never abandon of forsake me.

The hope that He has something more, something better in store for me.

And today, I am so filled with JOY.

So excited to see where the Lord will take me in the months ahead.

I have rarely felt this DEEP trust in God...

I have struggled for so long with just letting go completely...

with letting Him have control fully.

But, slowly He has worked my hard heart into something moldable.

Something useable.

Something I am freely willing to give up.

And it is the absolute BEST feeling I have ever experienced in my life.

And  that is enough to make me lose sleep.

I can't wait to share more about what I have learned and where the Lord is leading me.