{At The Core}

I am an extra sensitive soul.

My husband can verify that as well as my family and close friends.

And I am starting to see that, maybe that isn't such a bad thing.

As a child {and most of my adult life} I have seen it as weakness, a flaw in my code.

It has fed my tendency to give into fear. It has helped define the not-so-healthy "theme of my life" for many years.

There is always a reason behind a life theme & many times it isn't that it is a fault, but a gift or strong point that is simply misdirected.

Being sensitive can bring good or bad.

Being strong willed can bring good or bad.

Being passionate can bring good or bad.

It is a matter of how you use these gifts and a matter of how you view yourself in relation to the things that are so deeply ingrained in the person you are.

I believe that at the core of every person there is an undeniable goodness.

It is a reflection of where we come from, from the hands that shaped us from the very start, intended for beauty and purpose and light.

As I have been working over these things in my heart, once again I see in my children this very truth.

That we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

That when we look at ourselves and see fault it is a reminder to look deeper and see the goodness at the core of it, to always get back to the place where  beauty was intended to flow out and start there again.

When my son, Judah, whose name means "praise," is being loud and over the top wild I can choose to see it as him being disobedient and rude.

But, when I stop and look at the core of him, where I know I will find a soul bursting at the seams with joy, praise & exuberance for life I can remember that I need to help him cultivate that into something that brings goodness to those around him.

I don't want to squelch his joy, push it down back into him as a negative attribute, but give him the means and ability to use it to make the world a sweeter place to be.

And I need that same gentleness when dealing with myself- to see that there is a goodness in how I was created, that being sensitive means more than being afraid or being shy, it means more than being afraid to feel too much.

It means I have the ability to step into another person's pain. 

It means letting myself see beyond the hard exterior and into the real heart behind it.

It means giving my heart all the more and not sheltering it from pain.

It means expressing my sensitive soul in a way that brings truth and beauty to others.

It means loving and accepting who I am at the very core. Because it is there that I will find my deepest connection with the One who weaved it all together from the very start.

I hope that you too can look at yourself and see beyond the faults to a person who is deeply meaningful and needed by this world to the very core.