{un-pinterestly perfect}

If you walked into our house today {or pretty much any day lately} you would be pleasantly {or unpleasantly} surprised.

There is nothing perfect or put together about our home or life right now.

We have a dishwasher that seems to be constantly filled with clean dishes awaiting a long, angry line of hard-crusted on food smeared dishes and utensils on the counter. The kitchen floor is {thankfully} dark colored stone, so you will never be shocked by how truly dirty it is. And please, if you don't mind, don't peek in the oven, ok? The poor thing smokes up every time we fire it up for another frozen pizza.

When you make your way through the dining room/pile everything here room your eyes will be overwhelmed by the broken pieces of crayons, unfinished art projects and random piles of my eBay sales that cover at least half the table.

And if you make it past all of that, the living room and toy room will swallow you whole :) The Christmas tree is currently the pinnacle of both of these rooms, bent limbs, broken ornaments and goofy tilt- it really is a sight to behold. Definetly not something I would pin on pinterest for your inspiration ;) But, it is perfect for our ragamuffin family.

For a long time I have used the imperfections of our home as reasons to not have a friend over or as an excuse to stay home and "pick up." But, if I keep using that one it will make for a very lonely next few years ;)

And it's not just the imperfections of my home, but those insecurities of how that defines me. If my home is not always clean, decorations not perfect and updated, furniture free of stains....what does that say about the kind of mom or person I am? Well, truthfully not much.

And I forget that. I forget that none of that matters and that looking beyond the imperfections and the messes in life is how you connect. It's real. It's in the mess and the hard stuff that life blooms. Life happens in our house, non-stop.

And all that description above is proof. It says raising kids is tough, it is all consuming and comes before everything else. It says, hey look, my life is just like yours. I can not keep up with the laundry, the cleaning, the looking fashionable and give my all to my kids. I can not keep my life and lay it down for another, it just doesn't work like that. Where there is a give, there is a take. Where there is imperfection, there is beauty.

My life will never be Pinterest perfect, and I'm okay with that. I'll take the real life mess over the false cover of perfection any day.

So, come on over, but watch where you step ;)

Invite someone over today, be spontaneous and forget about what "needs" to get done first- I promise you the gift of sharing your life "as is" will always outweigh any momentary "oohs and ahhs" over how clean or beautiful your home is.

{the winter blues}

A combination of the insanely cold Wisconsin weather & the little babe brewin' in the womb has turned me into some kind of hermit.

It was Wedneaday morning when I looked at my kids who were bouncing off the walls and going on their fourth day in pj all day mode that I realized an extreme case of winter blues had already set in.

Yuck. 

There are so many things I love about winter, but every year I seem to settle into an anti social mid winter slump. This year it consumed me much earlier and somewhat by surprise. The long days of pregnancy nausea had worn me down sooner than usual... And my poor kids had been dragged down with me.

I examined the mess that was our house...a sippy cup bomb trap, crusty banana goo on the rug, abandoned mini socks and enough toys to choke an elephant. Normally, I would use this mess as an excuse to not leave the house, but today I knew I had to leave it to it's own issues and get OUT and into the world despite feeling like the most sea sick ship mate of them all.

The kids eyes lit up like heaven had come to earth when I told them we were going grocery shopping. They were more than happy to get out of their footie jammies and into the last clean pair of clothes to their name ( did I mention we seriously have a mountain of laundry that nearly reaches the tips of my ears?!) No one even fussed at the act of getting strapped into their car seats, you know they have not left the house in ages when this happens.... Or when your three year old says "mom, we are the pirates who don't go anywhere!" Every five minutes while playing all day "ships and pirates."

As I cruised down the highway into the bustling city of Madiosn I started to question my sanity....was it really a good idea to take my 1 yr old twins and 3 yr old shopping by myself?! And as I pulled into the parking lot of the Co Op my hands started to sweat. I will say the act of getting everyone into the store was nothing short of miraculous, I will spare you to gorey details.

Once in the crowed, narrow isles of the Co Op, with one kid strapped to me, one in the cart and one wondering around willy-nilly I realized this could go either really well or really wrong. It was amazing how many wide eyed looks I got, how many people parted the way as we passed, and how much compassion was poured out on me with a few simple smiles and the picking up of produce that my children hurled. Being back out in the world of the living was like a big hug.

After we finished our assault on the isles of the grocery store we settled in to the cute little cafe area complete with a kids play area. We parked out there for nearly an hour. Even when tragedy seemed to have struck in the moment Judah announced he had to "pop turds"- a kind older lady offered to keep an eye on my massive mounds of grocerys and stuff so I could corral all three kids to the bathroom without causing obscene amounts of chaos. 

And that is how something as simple and terrifying as going to the grocery store mended my winter heart. If a case of the winter blues has already set in for you and it just feels easier to stay home, GET OUT! Get out and remind yourself that even in these cold days there is warmth in the company of even complete strangers. Life is moving and going despite the bleakness of the earth right now. It doesn't take much to refresh your soul in something simple and every day.

{And Baby Makes....6?!?!}

Turns out we like being tired, crazy exhausted and tested to our level of sanity ;) Yup, baby number 4 will be showing up on the scene sometime around July 9th ( which just so happens to be my best buds birthday!)

If you do the math right, that will leave us with 4 kids 4 and under in the blazing summer heat this summer :) That is one scenario I never imagined, but I think we are up for the job....

If you wondered or noticed I have been missing from the internet world lately, it is because our new little bean has been making me feel not so great. But, thankfully I think we are on the up swing of feeling yucky :) 

Oy, pregnancy can be beasty, but I believe ( based on past experieces) that it is worth it in 1000 bouts of nausea, headaches and general uncomfortableness :) I have been trying not to complain too much, but my dear husband has been very sweet and let me whine a fair amount. What a man.

The boys are beyond thrilled and Judah has already chosen the beautiful, gender neutral name of Rocket Johson for the babe to be. So sweet. And little Will has been marching around the house with his baby doll in his backpack for days. Ry on the other hand is not so sure he wants to share his mama yet, he keeps saying to my  tummy " no baby." Hahah! 

And yes, I know you are thinking " I bet you are hoping this one is a girl!"- but, no I  am actually terrified of a girl. What do you do with a daughter?! I have no clue. I forgot how to play girly stuff in all these years of trucks and smashing things. Whatever we have will be awesome and challenging in it's own way....can you imagine four boys under four?! This is shaping up to be terrifying whichever way you look at it :)

A few pictures of our lil' kumquat ( baby's size fruit equivalency right now!)