{When God Gives You More Than You Can Handle}

You've probably heard the saying, "God will never give you more than you can handle" and it probably came at a time when you felt like your life was swallowing you up whole, when the odds were stacked up against you and deep inside you wondered how you would keep it all together.



Yeah, that is my life. It has been my life for the past 3 years.

Pregnancy & birth of twin boys when my first son was barely 2
Hundreds of miles away from any family
A husband working full time by day and tackling grad school by night.
3 boys 4 and under & one on the way
A very sick child, who was later diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder.
The birth of our 4th son (4 kids 4 & under)
A new career path & adjustment for my husband (many late nights alone)
Months of fear & worry over a baby who wouldn't grow
10 days in the hospital with my 6 month old
Trying to fit a 2nd medically complex child into our crazy life

A story and challenges unique to me, but really, who doesn't have a crap ton of overwhelming stuff going on in their lives?


Guys, I am here to tell you, I have more than I can handle. And it's okay if you do too. You don't have to be supermom/dad, the master of multi-tasking, the keeper of a perfect home, a ladder-climbing achiever at your job, a perfect Christian, flawless friend,  & world dominating machine.


It's ok. We are all pretty weak and scared on the inside, wondering if anyone else can tell.


I can't do it. I can not keep it together on my own. I've worked so hard the past 3 years to keep these exterior walls of strength up around the parts of me that were crumbling on the inside.

I'm embracing my weakness. Embracing the fact that I can't do it all & that it is ok to let other people know that too.


Because, yes, God absolutely gives more than we can handle- every single one of us, whether we want to admit that or not.


It's easy to let our brains fall in the the bottomless pit of distractions at our fingertips, to let our minds be pulled this way & that, to let us forget about the things that ache deep in our souls, to let ourseleves be deceived into thinking the Pinterest dream is just around the corner & that we can get to a place where everything is just right. We can fool our selves pretty easily into thinking every thing is ok, bandaging our wounds for another day, keeping it together for everyone else.


Well, I say, STOP IT!


There isn't a person on this Earth who has it all together, has perfection figured out, has everything under control. Let's all stop pretending & telling each other we don't have more than we can handle. Because we do.

Although this all sounds rather depressing, there is hope. We were never asked to do this on our own. In the midst of our tangled up mess, God calls us to Him, to lay our burdens down, to let them rest on the shoulders of the One who can handle it all.


His yoke is easy & His burden is light.


Thank you Jesus.


Thank you for seeing me in my little, wobbly exterior, holding it all together around my tender soul. Thank you for loving me and letting me crumble and struggle and find You patiently waiting for me to see I needed more of You.


God's strength is made perfect in weakness. He wants our truest selves, he wants our little ragamuffin hearts, our potty mouths & sin stained lives. Because the beauty of God never shines brighter than when it is contrasted and perfected in weakness.


There is so much beauty in the mess. So much hope in the struggle. So much truth under our deception. None of us is really so different from the next, none of us can do it on our own, so let's stop pretending.


Friends, I've got more than I can handle...but, I'm not handling it anymore. And you don't have to either.

{on saying "sorry"}

We are constantly telling Judah he needs to "say sorry" for little things he does; pushing or taking something from one of the babies, yelling, kicking, throwing his football in the house or treating the iPad like it is a football {ah!}

But, yesterday, I learned an important lesson: somethings parents need to "say sorry" too.

It is not that I never realized that I do things {daily} that hurt or upset someone else...but I never thought that I would need to offer an apology {and admit I was wrong} to my child, my 2 year old son.

It is humbling when you see your child as a mini person, someone who deserves respect and sometimes has it right when you do not.

It was a out of control typical morning at our house and Judah woke up full of energy, ready to get the day started with a good game of football. I, on the other hand, was exhausted and had not had my coffee just yet. I promised him we would play football when the babies went down for their morning nap. 

Both babies were in a feisty kind of mood and were really clingy all morning....and mama never did get that coffee.

When they finally laid down {after 20 minutes of screaming}I plopped down on the couch to catch up on some emails, completely forgetting about the promised game of football.

Judah was not happy about this.

He came over and began to pull on my arm to get me off the couch, mummbling something I could not understand....and then he started screaming.

I was running on empty and not in the mood for him throwing a tantrum and snapped at him to stop, which of course made him even more upset.

He ran out of the room and I got back to my work. 

A few minutes later he was back {with football in hand}and a huge smile on his face. When I looked up and saw him staring at me with his big blue eyes full of joy & excitement my heart sank...I felt terrible that I had forgotten my promise to him.

I pulled him into my lap and said, "oh Bud, I am so sorry. Mommy told you she would play football with you during the babies nap and I forgot. I yelled at you and that was not okay. Let's go play football right now!" 

He put his little hand on my face and said, "it's okay, Mommy. Sometimes Mommies get sassy too, but My love you...and my love football!!!"

It was not the first time I had apologized to Judah, but this time it really hit me. This little boy, at such a young age understood that everyone makes mistakes and he was freely ready to offer his forgiveness. 

I pray that as my boys grow up that I could continue to humble myself before them {and say sorry} in big and little mistakes, in things that I intentionally or unitentionally may do that upset them. I don't want to see myself as the one in control, the one who is always right. I have so much to learn from my children. They bring so much joy and will one day maybe have a totally different perspective on life than I do.

Judah Jay, you are wise beyond your years. You are so full of joy and you accept and love me even when I am not doing my best. I love you so much, buddy.