{Beauty From These Ashes}

I don't understand a lot, especially when it comes to the pain and brokenness we all experience in this life. It just doesn't make a lot of sense.

When you are a kid the world seems so beautiful and dangerous. But as an adults we sometimes lose that wonder and  that fear. We forget how much we matter and how much those around us matter. We forget how fragile we are and we come face to face with really how short our lives are.

I am not too old, but sometimes I feel like most of my life has passed me by and I am running out of ground to cover before the race is done. I start to panic when stuff falls apart, when bad things happen to those I love, when my own brokenness hurts others, when nothing seems to work out like I thought it would...and all I see is a pile of ashes at my feet.

But isn't that the way it is in this life?

Isn't it a reminder of how messed up we are and all we can really create is mess after mess, turning our life and plans into a heap of burning ashes at our feet?

Dangerous.

We are destructive by nature, destined to mess it all up no matter how smart, or determined or well planned our dreams and life may be.

Things just fall apart. They rust and they rot and they leave us feeling empty and wondering how we ever got here.

But there is hope. There is always hope.

Something beautiful can come from the mess we have made.

Redemption.

Beauty from the ashes.

When our brokenness, our failures and our plans are contrasted with the sacred truth that we can absolutely not do this on our own, we find what it is all about.

We see meaning in the suffering, the pain and the heartache.

We see that we were never really meant to be here long and that our souls were not created for this world.

And then everything looks different.

The brokenness in our hearts reminds us of our humanity, of what we can do when we stop trying on our own.

When we lean on a strength and a love that is beyond us life starts to bloom up from the muck.

We get back to that place where life is beautiful and dangerous and hope filled again.

We get a little closer to heaven right here.

It doesn't mean life stops being hard or the ones we love stop getting hurt, it just means now we don't have to do this ourselves anymore, it's not all on our shoulders and we have nothing to prove.

It means in our ashes, in our most broken down place hope springs forth and we keep fighting the good fight, keep hoping for that day when all things will be made right. 

Because it is coming, sweet friend.

Beauty from the ashes.

{a story of love}

This is a story of love. One that is kept secret, misunderstood, misused, shouted from the roof tops, lived and died for....it is our story.

I am a Christian. 

{If you are not or if the very word makes you want to stop reading right now, please keep reading}.

The word "Christian" carries so many meanings to many people. It can be a word that brings memories of hate, of unacceptance, of fear.

Unfortunately that is not what Jesus intended for his followers, Christians, to do. Jesus is about love. He is about acceptance.

During this election I have seen many hateful comments from other Christians on the topics of gay rights & abortion especially.

I don't want to get into what is "right" and what is "wrong"---is it my place anyway? No. What I want to stress is that it DOES NOT MATTER what other people choose to do with their lives. We {as Christians} are not called to tell other people what to do, what we are called to do is to LOVE & ACCEPT, because isn't that exactly what Jesus did for us?

We might not see things the same way, but I love you. God loves you. 

I was not always a Christian. I have always been a sinner {and still am}. But, I have always been loved by God. Same goes for each and every person on this planet.

When I chose to follow in Jesus's footsteps I just finished my freshman year of college. I finally saw an acceptance and love I had longed for my whole life. No matter what I do, no matter who I am, God loves me. I learned this while working at a camp for kids with disabilities. They loved me as God did. They didn't care what I had done right or wrong in my life, to them I was valuable and worth loving despite any of it. It still brings me to tears when I think of the way these kids showed the Lord's love to me.

And that is just the point. This is a story of love. 

"I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world."

-Mother Teresa

If we want God to be represented through our lives, we need to start loving people where they are. 

I want to say sorry to you if you have ever been treated without love or respect by a Christian. I want to say sorry if that Christian was ever me.

We are human. We fail. But, God never changes. His love is beyond us, beyond our understanding, unconditional and life changing. If you have never had the chance to experience that kind of love I pray that you would, because God deeply loves every person on this earth and desires to have a relationship with us right where we are.

Without a doubt, finding this love, finding a God who loved me like this has been the single most utterly life changing thing I have ever experienced. 

This is a story of LOVE.